Spiritual Walk

Broken To Hear

Today has been another happy work day. I am working for an online company where I usually interact with my clients through Skype. Because of that, I always need to have my headset ready. Today, I decided to unplug my headset on one ear, so that I would be able to hear my own voice and my client’s voice at the same time.In short, I just wanted to achieve some sort of balance.

My headset has been working properly until I noticed something wrong today. The left one which I have not been using, apparently stopped working.

I guess this was not an accident.

It happened for a purpose.. and that was to remind me of something:

It’s been almost 2 months since I quit my job in a school setting which basically goes on for 8 hours (10-12 most of the time) a day 5 1/2 days a week. My life centered on this kind of routine for almost 4 years. Those were  four amazing years by the way. I’ve learned a lot from that job and time really flew fast because I was enjoying. However, as time went by, I found myself craving for more.

. . .it was during the time that I had been so involved in the ministry.

Starting out anew, I wanted to explore more on my new-found life in Christ. My long-forgotten dreams can now come out in the open. I auditioned for the Music Ministry in one of the big churches in the metro; been a back up singer and was eventually given a chance to become a worship leader. With the grace and trust of the Lord, I was given a great privilege of becoming a cell group leader and was later on promoted as a discipleship coach.

Everything happened so fast. One by one, those good deposits started to show up. I was glad that I am now able to use them for a wonderful cause, and that is to honor God.

Apart from my involvement in the music and discipleship ministries, I had also been given a rare chance to be used fully in sharing the gospel. It was during the last quarter of 2014 when I was invited to join an international mission trip. Being chosen to be part of the team that would be sent out in the mission field was a mind blowing thought for me. It was one of my greatest dreams.

But, something happened along the way. With everything good occurring all at once, God told me to PAUSE. Yes, that was exactly the word. If I would compare my involvement in the ministry to a showbiz career, I would say that I was in the peak of my career that time. But God had a different plan.

His next command was for me to LEAVE. It was a great challenge that I had to face to prove my faith. I had sleepless nights struggling with God, looking forward to what He has to say each and everyday; hoping that I only misheard His command. But, the voice became louder and louder as days passed by. He wanted me to give everything up and completely follow Him. By saying everything, it meant to say everything I had that time that took his place in my priority list.

You can be serving in the ministry and yet become so distant to God.

Involvement in a ministry should  always be out of the overflow of your love for God. We should take note that doing ministry work can never compensate for the time we failed to spend on our knees in prayer.

Our God is a personal God. Only when we soak in prayer and bask in His presence will we receive countless revelations that would cater to our personal needs. God wants an intimate relationship with us.

I cannot contain the grieving Spirit within me so I decided to obey. I resigned from work, gave up my work in the ministry, even cut some ties with people. It was a painful experience. Jesus said it won’t be easy but it’s definitely gonna be worth it. (Will blog about my breakthroughs after this event soon).

Then Jesus said to his disciples, “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me.”  Matthew 16:24

It was indeed a very hard decision. But I believe that behind every  command that we choose to follow, lies a greater blessing that awaits in each and every single step.

God has confirmed his command while I was reading a blog from Shawn Mckenzie’s page. These words pierced through my heart right that very moment.

You see… when you have a calling on your life, the Holy Spirit that dwells inside of you can only grieve for so long.

People are not going to understand what God has called you to do, but don’t let it stop you; walk in obedience! Ask yourself, what is God pressing on my heart to give up that I’ve been ignoring and neglecting for a while? (Click here for link)

I heard the voice of God through these piercing words and immediately surrendered to His will.

Now, I realized the significance of that broken headset. God has to break us in some areas of our lives for our hearts to have that much needed silence in order for us to hear His voice.

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